As you all know, I recently turned 30 and during the journey, I've learned a great deal.
The following are the 30 of the most important life lessons from my first 30 years on this planet.
Throughout these 30 years of my life, I've been through loads of good times and bad. I'm grateful that throughout my unique life experiences, I got to learn so many golden nuggets from my mistakes, trial and errors, books, parents, mentors, and friends which I've decided to compile them for you.
I hope this will be helpful for you along your way of building/re-building yourself up. Here goes:
1) Don't worry about finding the right woman- concentrate on becoming the right man.
How do you do that? Simple. Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your deeds. Watch your deeds, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
2) Your purpose must come before your relationship. If you delay your mission just so as to spend time with her, that'll weaken you as a man. No, I'm not talking about being a workaholic and neglect your other half. I'm talking about aligning your life to your purpose. Once you know what you want in life and you are working towards it, the girl who loves you will understand and let you pursue your goals.
3) Self-Awareness is key. Knowing more about who you are, what you like/dislike, why you wanna do what you wanna do are important in your journey of life. You don't have to figure everything out at the start or what. Everyone will have our own time-line to figure things out. Just enjoy the process of self-discovery and you'll get there in no time.
4) With that said, I believe we should never try to keep someone who does not want to keep you. Instead, keep the person who stays by your side while you are building your empire. Not the one who left for another person because of the lack of attention. Period 💯
5) Be the man with scars. Learn from your mistakes and become stronger. Don’t be so afraid of failure that you forget to live your life.
6) Love yourself like how you love your family, friends, and even your idols. As the saying goes: "Health is Wealth". No matter how much wealth you have in your entire lifetime, you can never buy back your health. Recently, we've seen some of our favorite sports personalities and celebrities that have left us due to accidents (Aloysius Pang/Kobe Bryant) & even health issues (Chadwick Boseman/Alien Huang). Therefore, we got to cherish our life here as our time on Earth is not limitless. In fact, it's like a "ticking time-bomb" which you'll never know when it'll cease. It's our responsibility to preserve and even prolong it. Not our daddy, mummy, granny, or even our nanny.
7) Treasure the people (family, loved ones, friends, co-workers, neighbors and etc) around you like as if they are your treasure box. As we all know, each and everyone of us has a "set of time" available for us on this planet, so it'll be wise for us to cherish one another before it's too late for us to say what we all want to that specific person. Regret is the biggest poison that I believe nobody wants to have as the pain can be quite painful especially if that person who holds dear in our hearts suddenly leaves us for a "better place". So, do you have anyone that you've not spoken to and would like to re-connect with? Then what are you waiting for? The ball's in your court now. The power's in your hands now. What are you going to do about it? 🤔
8) Keep your family closer and your haters close. The mistake that I made was I wasn't aware that the people that I thought were dear to me turned out to be the ones who planned to leave me. Therefore, you got to know your people well before you call them your family.
9) The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure,
but to magnify love, openness, and depth. This also means that you got to give your best to the world and the woman that you love without holding back your talents, gifts and etc. Don't manipulate and just be authentic about it.
10) Be kind. Kindness is everything. To me, it is important to be kind because some people are different from you. Some people have disabilities which makes them really struggle. Kindness will make them feel loved and like people like them. Just because people are different doesn’t mean they need to be treated differently.
11) Improve on what you can (health, fitness, style) and embrace the things you cannot change (height, race, etc). Insecurity is an ugly thing, so confront the roots of your warped self-image and banish this negativity from your mind. Only you can make yourself worthy of the best things in life!
12) Realize that if you have the time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it. It’s better to go for it and get rejected than to never know at all. Wishing, wondering, and guessing hurts more.
13) I have a rule of thumb in life that I use. It takes about 2-4 years just to get 'good' at something. And I mean just to get good. Then, I think it takes another 2-4 years to become a 'master' of whatever you're doing. At the 10+ year level is usually where the Genius level really kicks in.
14) When you start to respect yourself completely, other people will respect you as well. If you don't respect yourself, why in the world would anyone else respect you? If you treat yourself like shit, trust me, other people will do the same because you are sending a strong signal to the world that shit is just what you are.
15) Our blood is of the same color. Be it you are of a different country, ethnicity, culture, and religion, your blood will always be red. Not blue, green, or any other colors. Racism is taught. We are not born with it. Let's stop this negativity and make this world a better place by showing our respect to one another. When you start to treat others like how you want to be treated, your life will be filled with more surprises than miseries.
16) Be Grateful. Gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. It can change your life because it makes you appreciate what you have rather than what you don't have.
17) Your Attitude determines your Altitude in life. The key to your success is by having a positive attitude. When you think positively, you'll start to create positive vibes around you and you'll start to build a positive life regardless of the obstacles that you are going to face during your journey towards success.
18) Success is our duty, obligation, and responsibility. Not the coaches that we hired or even our other halves. Therefore you gotta be bold enough to start before you are ready because the truth is you will never feel like you are 100% ready. Sometimes you've just got to commit yourself and jump in the deep end!
If you keep waiting until you are ready or for the perfect conditions, there is an even greater risk that you will miss the opportunity or your chance to shine! Remember, imperfect actions are always better than perfect inactions.
19) Be patient. Overnight success is really overrated. Like what Gary Vaynerchuk has mentioned to me on The Raygacy Show, the biggest mistake that many people make is that they don't realize that it'll take 21 years to succeed. For some, it might be 3 years or so to become successful but if you think you need 21 years to become successful, you'll start to appreciate that nothing comes easy and fast. You'll start to love and even enjoy the process of going through the obstacles and failures along the way.
20) To strive unremittingly. While you are on the journey towards your own success, you got to learn from many trusted sources in order to be successful. Trusted sources like coaches, mentors, books, offline and online courses are all within your reach. It's just a matter of how willing are you to learn and then take action.
Which comes to the BONUS pointer for you and that's you got to be coach-able. Why do I say that this is 1 of the most important element towards your own success is because like I mentioned earlier, it's your duty, obligation, and responsibility to become successful.
Therefore, when you hire someone to coach, guide, and mentor you, you got to be 100% committed to learning and putting in the work. If the coach assures you that your mindset will be transformed and you don't open your mind, heart, and soul to receive knowledge and feedback, all the more your coaching process will be a waste.
21) Everything starts from within. Every legacy starts from within. Every positivity starts from within. Even, every negativity starts from within. So, if you want to really get out of that rut, you have to start to change your mindset. Start to improve your mindset. Start to twerk it a little and tell yourself that “Hey every setback is a set-up for you to become successful".
22) Life is going to be a roller coaster ride. It’ll never be always ascending. Sometimes, it will be stagnated. It will be stagnant and then after that, it’ll plummet. And then, it’ll be stagnant again and then go up, it’ll go stagnant again. Meaning to say that life is not a 1-way street. It'll never be ascending or descending always.
23) Which comes to this next crucial point and that is "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger". Be it being dumped and cheated on or failing in your 1st job/business doesn't equate to the end of the world. In fact, scientists have found out that failure early in one's career leads to greater success in the long term for those who try again.
24) Tough times never last. Tough people do. When it comes to tough times, it's easy to get overwhelmed with what's going on at the moment. The reality is everything passes. Difficult times never stay difficult.
No matter what the situation is, it's the way we deal with it which makes the difference as to how we come out of it.
25) Sacrifice the time now and you'll get positive rewards later. I'm not saying just work hard and not smart or vice versa. Each alone won't bring you far.
You need 2 hands to clap. 1 is hard work, the other smart work. So don't let the notion of instant gratification influence you to make the decisions that'll make you regret tomorrow.
We need to put in countless hours of practice, trying, work then we are able to taste the sweetness of the fruits that we've bared.
26) Ego is our biggest enemy. Why? Because it can keep you out of touch with reality. Your ego is what prevents you from hearing critical but necessary feedback from others.
Ego also creates unrealistic expectations and entitlements and it makes you dependent on other people's validation.
Be humble and practice humility. Be confident but not arrogant. Remember, it's not always about you.
27) Give back to others. Volunteering your time to support a cause you are passionate about is something you will never regret. It will enrich your life, familiarise you with your community and connect you to people and ideas that will positively impact your perspective for the rest of your life. It can also be an opportunity for you to grow as a person. The more you give, the more you shall receive.
28) My only competitor is the person I was yesterday. Like this famous quote being said by Jeremy Taylor, "Know that you are your greatest enemy, but also your greatest friend".
Nobody can drag you from the depths of helplessness, hopelessness, depression, and self-pity but you. Therefore, we should start comparing with 2019 "US" and not other people because their dreams and successes are theirs, not ours. Compete with your past self and create a legacy for yourself so that 2030 you can thank you for the actions that you've taken today.
29) Collaboration is the currency of the future. Competition makes us faster whereas collaboration makes us better. Alone, we can do so little, together we can do so much. Like what Leza Klenk has shared on The Raygacy Show, when businesses practice the effectiveness of collaboration, such as, networking, finding synergy, and win-win in every project, this will entail them to low cost and a higher margin.
30) You only have 1 life to live as you. So why do you want to bother looking at how Kardashians are living. Why not go and do something for yourself and make yourself proud.
Also, not forgetting that we are in control of our destiny. Hence, we should never let other people such as our parents and society dictate whom we should love and what we can be. We only regret the chances we didn't take.
Let this sink in your head and go take that leap of faith, I'm sure you're going to enjoy this, no matter how tough it can be.
Not forgetting this very important tip: Take care of your mental and physical health during this pandemic. Keeping them in good working order can bring you many benefits. The bottom line is both of them work hand in hand together. If you don't take good care of your mental health, your physical health will suffer, and vice versa.
Therefore, have a self-care ritual for yourself as it produces positive feelings and boosts your confidence and self-esteem.
I hope these golden nuggets can serve you during any stage of your journey in life.