Don't Shame People Who Have Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BDP) is a condition that is highly stigmatized.

People who have BPD are often called "crazy," dangerous, or unstable. Those with borderline aren't always out of control. These are assumptions that many people make about those with BPD. A person with the condition tends to be sensitive and emotional. They're probably struggling with severe past trauma and abandonment issues. Individuals with BPD have difficulty managing their feelings and have trouble tolerating pain. These symptoms can make a person appear as if they've "lost control," but it's crucial not to engage in name-calling or assume that every individual with the condition is unpredictable. Here's the reality of living with borderline and what we can do to help our loved ones live with it.

Accept that Borderline is a Severe Mental Health Condition

In managing borderline personality disorder, it's crucial to accept that it's a severe illness. If you've been diagnosed with BPD, it probably explains a lot about the origin of your symptoms. You may have felt like you're on an emotional rollercoaster, found it hard to maintain friendships or romantic connections without hurting people or pushing them away. You could struggle with abandonment issues and be always afraid that others will leave you. These are difficult things to handle. When you feel out of control in your mind and body, it hurts. Some people with BPD self-harm, whether that's cutting, burning, or with substance abuse. They can also engage in "emotional self-harm." That means developing unhealthy or toxic relationships with others where they're being treated poorly but stay anyway because they're afraid of being abandoned. These factors all contribute to what makes BPD extremely hard to handle.

Supporting Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

If you are a person living with a borderline personality disorder, you, like anybody else, want support. It's difficult enough to live with a condition where you feel consistently out of control. When people are stigmatizing you or making you feel like there's something wrong with who you are, it makes it worse. If you are friends with someone with borderline and have an emotional episode, don't tell them they're acting "crazy. "Even if you don't understand what they're going through, there's no point in labeling them. The most important thing is to support them and leave them toward getting help. Stigmatizing or shaming somebody who has borderline does not help them. It makes them feel worse about themselves, and they'll be more apt to engage in unhealthy behaviors.

Enabling Someone Versus Supporting Them

There's a difference between enabling somebody and supporting them. When you enable a person with borderline personality disorder, you don't intervene when they have toxic behaviors. You let them engage in these behaviors end normalize them. For example, somebody who has borderline who is engaged in substance-abuse needs help. If you drink alcohol around them, then you are enabling their addiction. It's important to positively influence the people around you. If you see that your friend with borderline suffering, it's essential to lead them towards resources that can help them, such as therapy.

If You Don't Understand, Ask

When you have a friend with borderline, you may not understand their behavior. If you're not sure of what's going on with them, you can always ask. And you don't have to do this in a judgmental way. You can say, "I'm having a hard time understanding what's going on with you. How can I support you?" Or "Could you explain what's happening and how I can be there for you?"

That way, you're not making assumptions about what they're going through or placing judgment on them. People want to be understood and listened to, and this is a great way to promote that sort of environment for your friend.

Online Therapy Can Help

Dialectical behavior therapy (or DBT) is one of the most effective treatments for borderline personality disorder. Whether you see a therapist online or in your local area, it's essential to get help for borderline personality disorder. A therapist will not stigmatize somebody living with BPD. Rather, they will help them work on coping mechanisms to regulate their emotions and support this person in forming healthy interpersonal relationships. It's crucial that somebody with borderline finds a good therapist who can help them develop emotional regulation skills and distress tolerance. People with borderline deserve to get help just like anybody else. They don't need to be shamed for their behavior. They need to be supported instead. If you're interested in learning more about online therapy, you can check out places like BetterHelp. No matter what your issues are, there are therapists who can support you. It's best to reach out for help rather than struggling with these concerns alone.