If one or more from below list of things apply to you or someone you care about, let's explore how to come out of these negative emotions and use them as our strengths:
I won't judge you if your answer to one, or more, or all of above questions is a yes. It's okay to feel that way. In fact, you should not give a damn about what I or anyone feels about your answers. In my view, what most important is,that you honestly become aware, understand and admit to yourself that you are someone who is constantly surrounded with negative emotions or feelings which are result of your take on people around you.
I have talked about category of people in an old article, "WHY SHOULD YOU KNOW WHICH BUCKET PEOPLE IN YOUR NETWORK BELONG TO?"
But the emotions I am talking about in this post above are not necessarily related to people from Bucket B. These are your own emotions. They may be coming out of your interaction with some actually good people, who may belong to your Bucket A or C. (Read my article shared on the link above!)
In this article, I want to talk about you and your emotions for now. I want (you) to admit that there are certain negative emotions flowing through my head and body at my workplace - which are result of my equations with some specific persons. These persons may not necessarily be bad humans. But every time I meet with them, see them, I feel negative electrons charging up within my body. This brings me to the ultimate question - Why? And whatever in hell is the reason behind such energy shift, HOW to deal with these emotions?
I have worked in the corporate sector in my first job. I was a fresher when I joined, but moved quickly to a Team Lead sort of role in little over 2 years' time. I had the opportunity to be on both side of equation. I was a jealous person and I saw people being jealous of me! I was given extreme levels of stress from upper management, and I have given stress to people who reported to me. And so on.
However when I joined Teach For India (TFI), a non-for-profit (NGO) organization, four years back, I didn't feel such way ever during my two year stint. And it's not because TFI didn't have smarter, intimidating people. In fact, I used to be one of the smartest girls in my first job, but when I moved to TFI, I literally had a great reality check. I met several hundreds of smarter professionals - extremely well-articulate, well-traveled, graduates from top US universities, and so on.
So what's the difference?
One clear difference is that the non-for-profit sectors are mostly #non-competitive in nature. In TFI, your salary (stipend) doesn't increase. It remains constant for two years. There are no material incentives linked to performance. There is no race for onsite trips, promotions etc. I didn't really think about salary, hikes, bonus for two years. That sense of non-competitiveness, collaboration, sharing etc helped me to look at my colleagues as friends and I started deriving positive energy from our interactions.
However, when I talk to few friends who are still working in competitive environments and are constantly going through stress mostly derived from people around, I get really worried. I feel it's killing us deeply, internally. It's making our minds and souls unhealthy and toxic. There must be ways to deal with such negative emotions, and we must develop strategy to use such negative emotions as our strengths.
So I reflected upon my own past and present experiences and conversations I have had from people across sectors, ranks, age, etc and come up with a few steps thinking questions that could help you convert your negative emotions to your strengths. Let's take a look. But before that please understand if you are not ready to work hard, and just want to continue to feel jealous or negatively, I or no one in the world can have a plan/strategy for you to feel better. This post doesn't claim to give you a ready-made plan or support negative feelings. This post wants you to know that you are not alone in feeling negatively, and it's not bad. It's human nature to feel that way. But overcoming such emotions is certainly in your hands if you honestly want to. Let's read the steps now-
Don't hold grudges for lifetime from anyone. Remember, some of your biggest enemies end up becoming your strongest allies!
Happy becoming better person inwardly and outwardly!
Do share any questions, feedback or input. I would like to revise my approach with some valuable feedbacks. Thank you in advance. Take care!
Swati is the General Manager of Social Venture Partners (SVP) Hyderaad, where she builds powerful partnerships with non-profit organisations to tackle India's most pressing social challenges. SVP is the world's largest network of engaged philanthropists, with over 3,200+ investor-donors across more than 40 cities worldwide. Swati is a Teach For India Fellow - she has taught 100 girls for two years in a slum community in New Delhi. She has previously worked with Hedge Funds for four years as a consultant in New Delhi and New York. Swati holds a bachelor degree in Computer Science from the Institute of Engineering and Rural Technology.