Fathers play an important role in the development and growth of their children.
An involved father promotes inner growth and strength.
Research shows that the love and care of fathers are equally important for the physical and mental health, and well-being for a child as much as a mother’s love is important.
Both fathers and mothers are equally important. Fathers have emotions. They do care, cry, get hurt and love abundantly. A father's presence is secured and supportive as well. Anyone can parent a child but being a dad takes a lifetime, a fatherly role plays a very very important role in every child’s life and that cannot be filled by anybody else.
Fathers just like mothers, are the pillar of emotional development of a child’s well being and thinking. Children look up to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce it on them, also look up to their fathers to provide a feeling of security, physical security and emotional security. They also look up to their fathers as a role model so it’s very important that that cognitive and the social development of a child is ensured well while a father is around.
When I was at a marriageable age and my parents made me sit one day with them and we were just talking and they asked me what sort of guy do you prefer, what sort of man do you prefer in your life, and immediately I said just like papa, why because all the emotional support as a daughter I wanted from my father I have got, all the encouragement, all the security, financial, physical security, always we have been told that whatever happens- come what may I am there and that matters a lot to a daughter, he has been a loving father, a gentle father, and that exactly what we seeking in the person I intend to marry.
And while I am talking from the perspective of a daughter, sons are also looking up to their father in a way. I have a 10-year-old son, and I see him comparing with my husband, trying to dress up like him, trying to talk like his father, trying to protect me - his mom, mirroring just like my husband does. He tries to behave like an adult just like my husband is behaving with his sister.
This is something my 10-year-old is trying to imitate, copy and learn from his father, he expects that while he seeks all the emotional and love and hugs and touches from me, he ensures that he gets all the time, the boyish games, the boyish talks from my husband and my husband is there to give him, so when I am talking from a daughters perspective or a sons perspective, a father is very important.
Often I have seen my little one telling me I am here for you when his dad is travelling, that makes me smile as somewhere he is too young to understand that his mother is equally capable but for him, his father is strong, loving, empathetic, emotionally strong as he understands him
To all the fathers, it is very important that even while your better half is pregnant, you are there with your better half, you ensure that you give that touch to the child while the child is in the womb, you give all the love and support to your better half because remember, the love and respect you seek from your child when the child is out in the world, it’s exactly what you need to give to your child in the womb.
That is the reason why we have stepped up, there is maternity leave and paternity leave because society now needs it. Father’s were less active if we look back in the history, in joint family system children were raised by women. Today the situation has changed. There are more nuclear families, smaller families that is the reason employees are getting paternity leave. So that fathers get the opportunity to get involved in the process from the time, a child is born. Also, all the classes they take during pregnancy why is encouraged that couple participate together so that you are bonding and understanding the whole natural process together. Parenting responsibility is equally shared and participated and fathers nowadays are present at the time of childbirth - it clearly shows that we are changing and evolving, parenting is constantly changing. Fathers are e now more curious and very involved as well, from diaper changing to feeding to going to a ball game are all the roles fathers are also capable of doing and fathers are doing that as well. I feel it is unfair to say that they are choosing not to do and I always say that to be fair to the fathers who don’t participate I think sometimes it' is just left to be assumed that we need help, especially mothers and not communicated . If communicated, things are surely better.
Parenting is not a competition, mothers also need to encourage more active participation and in a positive way and she also needs to sometimes step back and let children be with their father. Have some spa time or shopping time with your friends and let the daddy dear be there with the kids and plan their own outing.
I hope this will help you understand to respect a role of a father in a child’s life. A message to all the mothers - respect the presence of child's father in his or her life and in your life as well, if it’s not working out with you as a relation that doesn't matter, that’s your personal choice but ensure that respect it is taken care of in front of the child for the child's well being, mental and physical well being, because this is very important that is what you are teaching your child to manage when he or she grows up to get married and plan to become a parent.
Riddhi Doshi trains and coaches corporate leaders, educators and parents on issues of mental health and behavior. She is an internationally certified Parenting & Behaviour Coach. In past 15+ years she has conducted 2540+ open workshops, delivered 87000+ hours of talks, 53000+ hours of counseling sessions covering 59000+ students and 62,000+ women from various fields. Parenting sessions conducted by Riddhi are housefull and recent;y she completed her 366th Parenting session. She has been a speaker and advisor at various institutions and organizations including IIM, Ahmedabad, Rotary Club, Tata Power, Larson & Toubro and The Time of India. She holds an MBA in HRD, LLM and numerous other professional certifications from prestigious international institutions including University of Cambridge, BSY University, London, City & Guilds, London, Tata Institute of Social Sciences and NMIMS, Mumbai. She has been awarded with “National Award for Cultural Activities by AVANTIKA- Delhi”, “Excellence in Wellness”, “Young Entrepreneurs Award”, “Self Made Diva Award” among various others. With a mission to “make corporate leaders, educators and parents empowered and more aware about mental health & wellness”, Riddhi regularly gives interviews on leading media platforms. She loves to interact with corporate leaders, educators and parents to discuss about women issues, child psychology and parenting challenges.