Why It's So Hard to Understand our Students and Help Them

Kids are deeply affected by acts of teachers --- and the teachers never know about what happened. I used to say as a college president that, with respect to students, you could do 99 out of 100 things right but the 1 thing that is wrong or bothersome or bad has a seemingly out-sized effect; in others words, we need to be vastly more aware not just of big systemic change but we need to pay attention to smaller words and deeds and acts. Both are important to be sure. But, we tend to focus on the BIG changes and acts; that's the American Way. Think Big.

An example from outside education: Ponder one bad tweet, one poorly worded tweet, one misguided tweet. It can have a myriad of consequences -- enormous ones. And, I am not talking here about an overly nasty and discriminatory tweet a la Rosanne Barr. I mean tweets that miss because the words were not chosen carefully and thoughtfully. Emails can leave a bad taste too -- in terms of tone and content. Texts too. Remember the recent college president who emailed students after the death of one student and complained in that very email about student traditions that put folks at risk. That email was NOT an ideal teachable moment to say the least. Remember the Halloween email at Yale?

Here is another issue: total unawareness of the world in which we live, and the lives of children we are now and in the future teaching. See Bibliography below. To relate to this: Note how hard it is to explain actual childbirth if one has not had a child oneself. One can get a sense; one can see a movie; one can watch it with one's partner or spouse. It is another thing to experience it in one's body and mind. One can "feel" childbirth.

I want to relate this childbirth example to the context of trauma, toxic stress and anxiety.

I was at a meeting recently where there was a sharing of information on and conversations about ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experience scores) with the gathered group. The goal was to share the neurobiology and neurochemistry that accompanies trauma and toxic stress and affects children in a myriad of ways. It has health consequences and educational consequences. Poorer health, poorer grades, poorer progression through high school, shorter life span. The power of trauma and stress -- untreated -- is remarkable. And, we have strategies to help kids who are experiencing high levels of toxicity in their young lives. The meeting was designed to raise awareness and offer strategies to improve educational outcomes for our young students.

At the event, people were asked if they wanted to fill out the 10 question ACE test and put their score only and anonymously in a bucket. Of the 75 in attendance, maybe 55 or so completed the task. The test is scored 1-- 10. Many children have one or two ticks. Anything over 4 places a student at real risk. A substantial number of children -- of all ages and races and genders and ethnicity -- have scores in excess of 3.

The idea of the exercise was to show the audience that they likely had high scores without knowing it and could, then, better relate to the whole set of issues related to trauma and how to help children navigate its waters. Trauma is never disappearing; but, we can learn to manage it. Here's what happened. Of the respondents, many had scores of ZERO or ONE! The average of the audience was well under two. For the record and I have released this elsewhere in public, I have a score of 7. And, I submitted that score into the bucket.

If teachers have low low scores, if administrators have low low scores, if pediatricians have low low scores, it is way harder for them to understand and appreciate what children with high high scores are experiencing or have experienced. In fact, while we don't need teachers who have all been traumatized, we do need teachers and administrators and pediatricians who understand trauma and how to respond it. Reciprocity, plasticity, mindfulness are all aspects of remediation (a word I dislike) as is listening well, building self-esteem and recognizing common warning signs. We need to operate from a strength-based not deficit- based model. (I term this lasticity -- not grit or resilience.)

Here was an audience with an average ACE score of under 2. That tells me that it is no wonder they were shocked by the challenges facing schools in low income neighborhoods. That tells me that it is no wonder they can't fully appreciate the difficulty of making change. That tells me that it is no wonder their suggestions are simplistic and non-nuanced.

I am glad folks are learning about ACEs. As someone with a high score, I was stunned actually -- a tad unnerved -- that those working to help students (those outside not within schools) did not understand the students of today and tomorrow. One can offer explanations. One can show charts. One can read books. One can offer ideas. One can ask for donations of monies. One can lament. All of that is not enough, as important as knowledge is. And, absent awareness, change is tough sledding.

But, it is this absence of understanding and personal experience that enables people to make unconscious statements, decisions, actions and tweets. Folks are simply unaware. Like childbirth, it needs to be experienced. And, if one is without a child (female or male), then one needs to learn from someone who has given birth.

In other words, our best teachers are those who have a keen awareness of who their students are. The challenges are before us. Time to take up that challenge.

Short bibliography: The Deepest Well by Nadine Burke Harris; Breakaway Learners by Karen Gross; It's Not About Grit by Steven Goodman and You Can't Be What You Can't See by Milbrey W. McLaughlin.