Why Last Year Was Unforgettable and How to Make 2021 Your Year

Why Last Year Was Unforgettable and How to Make 2021 Your Year

Phoenix Normand 04/01/2021 4
Why Last Year Was Unforgettable and How to Make 2021 Your Year

Warning: this is a long one and I don't mince words. You may not agree with all I have to say, but it's from MY perspective and a very valid one at that.

2020 handed us our ass like no other year in my 51 years on this planet. I was actually in Melbourne, Australia when this COVID-19 thing was picking up steam in China. My annual pilgrimage to watch The Australian Open Tennis Championships afforded me the opportunity to see Federer, Rafa, Novak, Serena, Naomi, and essentially every player I love watching on TV. Even Venus Williams, her mom, publicist, and several top female players were on my flight back to Los Angeles. What kinda sucked was finding out that Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and 7 others lost their lives in that helicopter crash in Calabasas, CA. When I saw it on television while in Melbourne it seemed unreal. Like, how? Who? Where? No way.

And then all hell broke loose. Lockdown city. I live in Downtown Los Angeles. I chose DTLA because it had transformed into a mini-Manhattan with amazing food, bars, nightlife, and this all day/all night energy. In the blink of an eye, it all changed. 10 months later DTLA is not the same. All of my favorite restaurants and bars have gone out of business. Many of the cute little shops that dotted the side streets are boarded up. My once-bustling building is now 70% occupied with numerous "Pay or Quit" notices taped to doors on every floor signifying "the struggle is real," even in my bourgie-ass building.

I, too, have had to pivot my business when all air travel was halted or restricted. I spent 30 weeks per year traveling domestically and internationally to teach. I was making a pretty good living doing what I loved and was able to be in a new city several times per month. Perfect life. Sadly, like everyone else, I was forced online which unearthed a completely different set of challenges, observations, and fatigue that has been a bit hard to grapple with. It also provided a number of personal insights that I'd like to share just to get them out of my head and onto a page and hopefully make you think about how they affect your life, thoughts, or actions.

George Floyd

We all saw it. With our own eyes. There's no denying the horror, the callousness, and the global display of solidarity in a call for justice. Politics aside (because I can't even...) this murder caught on cam really only highlighted what's been going on for years in this country. It shone a much-needed light on the racial inequity and divisions in the United States, especially the separate systems of justice that no one wants to admit exist.

I spent 4 weeks of deep immersion for 8 hours every Saturday reviewing the history of America with a good friend getting his doctorate in race studies. I and about 10 other people sat on these long-ass Zoom calls learning about slavery in graphic detail and how the current judicial system was built upon the oppression of Blacks in this country. It was sickening to see how the laws that are the foundation of our judicial system now were solely intended to separate and delineate Blacks from Whites and their separate (not equal) rights in this country. Those of you who've never taken the time to truly study the history of this country (not that bullshit they taught in your watered-down history textbooks) will likely languish in your privilege and continue to see it as "their" problem. And that's cool. It's essentially how America operates. Avoiding doing the hard work, having the tough conversations, and actually making the broad-sweeping changes that might affect their financial or social standing. One thing I've learned and reviled about this country is the pervasive attitude that "if it's something that doesn't benefit me in some way, then I'm less inclined to care or take action."

While all the protests and marches were happening, as a 51-year-old man who grew up in the freshly desegregated South, I had nothing but side-eye. To some degree, it was nice to see this newfound wokeness splashed all over the TV...at first. Which, as we saw, quickly devolved into looting and destruction mostly by those who couldn't give a shit about Black Lives Matter, George Floyd, or "the plight" Their intent was a completely separate agenda that was more of an F. U. to the system. The BLM protests provided the perfect foil to unleash years of seething since the Occupy Wall Street protests in 2011.

Racism

It's back with a vengeance. Funny thing is, and I said this a while back, I had a feeling that everyone was going to be up in arms and an ally, for awhile. But once people grew tired of Black people dominating the news, these protests devolving into destruction (by non-Blacks, mind you) that there would actually be a backlash against Blacks and all that newfound wokeness would be replaced with "just get on with it already." And sure enough, that's exactly what happened. Blacks in this country are now looked at as serial whiners. If I see one more Joe Bob Magillicutty on one of these news channels saying "we're all equal under the law and have equal opportunity to succeed in America," I might lose my full shit. Hate to have to burst your bubble for those of you who actually believe this shit, but it's a myth. Let me be clear. Everyone has the opportunity to carve out their own version of success in this country. I'm doing it right now, in fact. However, it's important to realize that we're not all working with the same advantages. In order to succeed, I've had to accept that I have to work much harder than my White counterpart in order to achieve a similar amount of success. I've had to fight biases and assumptions about my race that my White counterpart never encounters. And thus, can hold as an advantage over me.

Seriously, check your own biases. Of these two names, who's likely White? "DeShaun Jenkins" or "Chris Billingsley?" Ladies and gentlemen...BIAS. #yourewelcome

I have to admit. When all of the protests and insanity was going on I actually wanted things to go back to the oppressive, low-key racism I've dealt with all my life to this point. Seriously, all this new "ally-ship" confused me and made me super suspicious of everyone and doubt their true intentions. Friends and randos reaching out to me asking if "I'm okay." Get outta here! NO, I'm not okay. I haven't been "okay" for the 51 years I've been alive in this country. I had already found "a lane" that allowed me enough desensitization to put my head down, do the work, go around where necessary, and succeed despite the inequities I experience, uniquely, as Black businessman. People all up in my face with their bullshit altruism du jour and flaunting their newfound wokeness was actually the most depressing few months I've ever experienced. Luckily, as I'd suggested, people are back to business (and privilege) as usual and I, once again, know how to plot my course.

Bias in Tech

It's an embarrassment how few Blacks there are in Tech. I worked in Tech for about a decade and was constantly searching for chocolate chips in the cookie...but often felt like the random chocolate chip that ruined a perfectly good snickerdoodle. I'm quite aware of the times I was a diversity hire. Black? Check. Male? (in a typically White female role) Check? Gay? Bonus!

Big Tech has a problem. Actually, no they don't. Let me rephrase this. Big Tech is the perfect example of the problems we keep kicking down the road in this country. As long as money is being made and "no one is getting hurt" there is no problem. And, therein, lies the problem.

I've never been on this "hire Black people by the dozens" campaign. I, too, believe that the most qualified should get the jobs. But like I wrote in my book, meritocracy is, essentially, veiled racism. Most of those pushing the whole meritocracy argument are White men who hold the power within their organizations, have very little socialization with non-White people, have biases up the wahzoo, and will likely choose the resume from "Chris Billingsley" way before the one from "DeShaun Jenkins" even though they both graduated from the same Harvard class. Therefore, meritocracy is moot because the opportunities simply aren't there in such numbers as to validate any form of true meritocracy. PLEASE STOP. Seriously.

Now, let me raise another concern, A.I. If Big Tech is mostly White 25 - 40 men, and the engineers responsible for creating the underpinnings of the A.I. tsunami we're all about to be swept up into who are quite obviously less socialized, have few if any REAL friends of color, then bet your ass the "Chris Billingsley"/"DeShaun Jenkins" biases are being baked into the code. I don't believe it's anything nefarious at all. It's simply these (mostly) men doing their jobs. If something sniffs of bias or outright racism I'll bet my favorite hat that most of these kids will look the other way because it doesn't affect them personally and their focus is likely more on getting the work done to get their bosses off their backs.

When Google fired Timnit Gebru, a world-class, Black, female A.I. researcher, it was under the guise of her being too demanding in her requests. Um, she wrote a research paper and, like many at Google, trying to do the right thing...which she was actually hired to do. But, I have to give massive side-eye to the supervisor who fired her. A White man. Originally, it was reported that she'd quit. Nah, she had a list of demands, sure. But she didn't quit. And, clearly, when a scholar like Ms. Gebru has to present a list of demands in order to be taken seriously, there's a systemic problem unearthed. So, A.I. at Google is once again colorless and (mostly) diversity free with no oversight into bias. And until hopefully another Timnit Gebru is brought aboard, biased code will continue to make its way into their A.I. and products will roll out with a bias that most won't see...except the people inordinately affected by the lack of diversity and racial empathy in Big Tech. This actually is a problem, my friends. It's truly the new oppression.

Entitlement

Coronapocalypse exposed entitlement and lack of self-awareness like you wouldn't believe! I would never have imagined so many people would completely lose their shit being forced to be at home for months at a time. A little stir crazy? Sure. But the degree of whining and militant non-mask-wearing Karens throwing full-on fits in aisle 3 at the CVS, chiiiiiiile.

We've had a mirror forced into our faces. And it's a beautiful thing. For far too long many have allowed their jobs to define who they are. And when those jobs went away, they were forced to get real self-aware, real quick in order to survive. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to your "survival instinct." It's something I've been teaching and counseling for decades. What has always kept me feeling alive and created impermeable resilience is throwing myself (willingly) into situations that forced me to incite my survival instincts. I realized quite early in life that I must create a high level of resilience in order to deal with bias or job loss (because my mouth sometimes...) or being able to pivot quickly without falling victim to emotions. And it worked. So, seeing people completely lose it when they've had all these years to create personal resilience actually seemed kinda pathetic to me.

I feel insanely proud of the EAs who've taken my workshops, been coached by me, etc. as not a single one of them (maybe one, but I'm working on her) lost their complete shit. Many lost jobs, but leveraged everything I taught them over the years to scramble effectively, leverage their networks and find new jobs in record time. Nobody jumped off a bridge. There were a couple of divorces (that needed to happen). But everyone is thriving because they are supremely self-aware, even if they don't know it. I get the benefit of watching each of their evolution over time, so I get to see things they don't. Their resiliency, flexibility, problem-solving (read: crisis management), and confidence have helped them own their destinies, not be victims of this pandemic.

I see others in the wild whining out into the aether asking for help without even doing the work on their own. Complete strangers reaching out to me for recommendations they will never get because I toggle over to their LinkedIn profile and find a verifiable shit show. 2020 has provided the perfect opportunity to GET REAL. Given we've all slogged through 10 months of suck, it still amazes me how the least self-aware among us still act as if the world owes them a bailout or special deference.

Let's admit it. We got real high on the hog. We spent beyond our means. We bought every Apple accessory when we could have banked that cash for a rainy day. We joined that tech firm expecting it to go public and make us millionaires. (Several of my EAs did just that...congrats, ladies! You're unicorns, tho.) We got messy. Swam laps in entitlement. And when the rubber met the road, Ms. 'Rona drove her lorry right over the tops of many of us. And now many are depressed, have no idea who they are, have zero actual survival skills, and are taking every self-help workshop on offer trying to figure out who TF they are. Empathy? I'm fresh out. Many of these people were the ones who tacitly ignored the warnings, were too busy with cocktail parties instead of learning about personal finance, or even haters of mine because I was calling it like I saw it, including their bullshit and complacency. So, here we are. Bedlam in the EA ranks and me with my "Told Ya So" card in one hand, a glass of champagne in the other, and a really shitty look on my face.

The entitled eventually get eaten.

Let that bless you.

Politics

Talking about politics has become more taboo than talking about racism. I'm not going deep on this topic as I'm one of those weirdos who believe the White House and Capitol Hill need to burn to the ground and a complete reset of the American political system needs to rise from those ashes. For transparency, I'm outta here soon. Off to Portugal. After 51 years of low-key oppression, racism, political corruption, and the deleterious (but much needed) effect of this past administration, I'd much rather spend my sunset years in a country that values diversity, community, and "the simple things."

If anything became more clear over the past year it's that America kinda lost its way. Like I'd mentioned above, this pandemic unearthed the truly pervasive epidemics of non-self-awareness and selfishness. The fact that this virus is still unchecked in this country kinda proves my point. The simplest preventative measures that stopped the virus in other countries are somehow too restrictive for us Americans. We chose to politicize wearing a mask. Sure, not an end-all solution, but an effective preventative measure to at least keep you and your neighbor safer from exposure than walking around maskless and all up on each other during a global pandemic. Seriously, I'm out of words to describe how senseless, thoughtless, and selfish people are being about this subject. Lest we forget, this administration comes to an end in less than 3 weeks. However, the pandemic rages on. Businesses will continue to close. Our economy will tank. Kids will continue to struggle away from the classroom. Women will continue to leave the workforce in droves to care for their families. Largely because we're more interested in maintaining our freedoms than in helping and protecting our fellow man. This is OUR FAULT. No one else's. And as long as we build walls and politicize basic human decency we'll never really kick this pandemic in this country.

Yay, a vaccine tho. Most of us won't get our number called until November 2021. The rich are already climbing over the tops of people to line jump their way to vaccination. And, therein too, lies the problem. Should money buy you an advantage such as this during a pandemic? Truthfully, I don't know anymore. I'm an altruist so I think it's the kind of disgusting behavior wealthy Americans are known for. But, let's be honest here. If I had the money and the opportunity to get that shot by writing a big ass check or be forced to wait until November like the rest of the plebes with exposure increasing, would I? Money talks in this country, to the detriment of doing the right thing. And sadly, social media and how it's stripped the moral fiber right out of this country has lent to me actually have to think much harder about that question than I feel comfortable.

Predictions for 2021

So here are a few predictions for 2021. Agree to disagree...don't care.

1. Big City Blight. Already seeing it. People are out of cash. They're leaving big cities in droves, not necessarily because of remote work being "a thing" (like I'd predicted in my book, btw.) but because the money and socialization have dried up. I believe the converse of this is small communities in the interior US being inundated with hipsters, techies, and people "who know best" moving into their communities with their internet millions and entitlement in tow. Austin...Apple AND Elon?!! Truly think you're gonna "Stay Weird?" #sideeye

2. Rampant Poverty and Homelessness. We had unchecked homelessness well before this pandemic. Driving the freeways of Los Angeles the overpasses are full-on tent cities. There's garbage everywhere to the point where it has to be caustic. "Normal" people are waiting in long-ass food lines, so you can pretty much bet that the homeless are being deprioritized.

3. Flagging Economy. Until we can get a handle on COVID-19 infections we'll still be faced with stay-at-home orders that align with our ever-increasing infection rate, which affects small businesses who have always been the backbone of our economy. When those businesses fold, no taxes get paid. Given the number of businesses that have closed, the financial deficit in most cities grows by the hour. Even when we do get a handle of COVID we're still faced with people being less enthusiastic about starting a business and certainly not a brick-and-mortar one. Property owners will be foreclosed on. Properties will go derelict. And the financial ramifications to cities will be far-reaching and not easily remedied. I smell a nasty market crash hitting us in mid-2021. You heard it here, first.

4. Remote Work.
 I think business has wised up. It's sooooo much cheaper to let your peeps work from home, eat their own food, and get even more work out of them than when they were in the office. Who knew?! Let's keep it 100 here. Business is about that money. I have been a fan of remote work and one of its biggest advocates. Why? Because it saves companies money, leads to more focused work, and eliminates 90% of the issues (race, gender, sexuality) that many had to deal with while in close quarters with one another. Remote forces people to keep it factual. No more weird looks in the hallway. No more gossip at the watercooler. No more bullying or intimidation...real or perceived. Remote work allows us to get on with it, produce good work with conspicuous accountability, and keep it pushin'. I expect companies to be insanely pragmatic about reopening offices and certainly offer the option to work remotely if even part/most of the time. Decrease that square footage. Bring in the SEAL teams. The rest can catch it on Zoom.

5. Artistic Renaissance. Let me say this. If you are a live musician or entertainer, you should be writing albums with celebration songs or creating art with some sort of celebratory theme, because you are about to be really busy and, if you play your cards correctly, make boatloads of money over the next 2-3 years. We took artists and musicians for granted. We gentrified them out of their communities. We forced them into poverty by streaming their music vs. purchasing it. However, if you've paid attention, there has been a bit of an artistic renaissance brewing. We've lived on YouTube, filled up our Pandora playlists, TikTok'd ourselves into obsession, etc. In short, we're all pressed up on the gate ready for the doors to fly open so that we can see as many live music artists we can in the shortest time possible. Don't know about you, but once I get that shot and music venues open, you can bet your ass I'll be at every show on offer. Indoor. Outdoor. Don't care. Just play me music, feed me wine, and ask me no questions.

6. Vaccine Bias. Expect that there will be lots of YouTubes about people calling each other out about being vaccinated or not. Probably appended to some racist comment or biased opinion. We will see a haves/have nots scenario around the COVID vaccine. Those fortunate enough to get it earlier than most will show their ass at some point and get a little bold with their shitty comments. Companies will require vaccination verification in order to participate or even be let inside the building and will start discriminating accordingly. Having dealt with racism and being gay all my life, I've heard it all and know exactly how this story will end. In fact, I can write the script. Watch for it. It's coming.

In Conclusion

Yeah, I'm good on 2020. I'm definitely ready for a new look. I've never worked harder in the space of a year and received so little in return. Sure, some good lessons, but the money simply wasn't there. And, truthfully, it's made me completely rethink what's important to me. Sure, I still have some pretty lofty financial goals. But I'm definitely changing the method to reach them. It has to fulfill me in some way. I can readily admit, a few things I'm working on right now, simply don't. And they will be axed shortly.

I've decided to leave the country. Partly as an F. U., but mostly because I really like to travel. Being an American citizen has essentially branded me a scourge in the rest of the world, so my passport holds not power. In fact, it's to my detriment. I've always held that you should have residency (and citizenship) in another country just to be able to hedge your bets a bit. You know...in case of a global pandemic or an ex-reality-show-wannabe-dictator happens to win the throne. Nice to have options.

For the most part, I love America. It's my home, so it's the kind of love similar to that of family. You didn't choose them necessarily, but you just love them because you kinda have to. However, I'm really disappointed in America at the moment. To the point where I simply want a new look. I've done everything right, but I know for a fact my fate in this country could change in one traffic stop or one accusation or one random act. Having lived with that level of low-key anxiety for 51 years, I'm good. Time for a change.

This country is in the middle of a long-overdue reckoning. This administration has been the perfect harbinger for the work that's to come. It shone a light so bright that it brought all the dirty secrets to light. How we deal with it over the next few years will truly determine America's true values. Do we truly care about our fellow man and the EQUAL pursuit of life liberty, and happiness? Or are we more interested in continuing to build wealth and continue to ignore the social issues plaguing society in the light and in the shadows, because they don't really affect those writing the code that shapes our lives and behaviors?

Individually, now is the time to really do an audit of your life. If you're fortunate enough to work remotely 100% of the time, instead of purchasing a home, rent 3 places in 3 different countries. Go in with a couple of friends who are equally remote-capable and hopscotch around the globe. This has afforded the most amazing opportunity to see the world on your own terms and fund the adventure. Once you get that shot of course, and countries allow you in. There's that.

Make 2021 YOUR YEAR. Leverage the lessons from 2020 and vow to clean house. If it needs to go, get rid of it. That includes stuff, people, and certain relationships. Minimalism used to be something to scoff at. Now it's a battle cry. We all need to minimize our lives in such a way to allow for new energy, people, and adventures in. The socials are not your "friends." They are a tool. Refine your perspective around THAT ALONE and your life will change dramatically. Live, personal, connections will be the wave we're all excited to surf. And the return to a type of humanity that's based on love and respect for one another vs. "what can you do for me." The latter will always exist, but hopefully less so than the former.

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  • Nate Chalmers

    I still remember George Floyd's death

  • Ryan Campbell

    2020 was unreal !!!!

  • Keiran Wilson

    Excellent rant :o

  • Scott Wilson

    Lockdown is the worst thing that ever happened

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Phoenix Normand

Society Expert

Phoenix is coaching and supporting American billionaires, CEOs and executive teams in tech, retail and banking for over 25 years. He also founded and created MEGA Assistant University, a revolutionary skills and mindset “boot camp” for top Executive and Personal Assistants who want to level up quickly and begin forging a mutually successful business partnership with their executives and teams. Phoenix holds a Bachelors of Arts in European Studies/Civilisation from Trinity College Dublin.

   
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