How to be a Workaholic

You know the scenario: get to work on time, do your job effectively, come home on time, and hopefully have a life for the rest of the day.

How, then, do you become a workaholic so that you can get up to par with all the other workaholics around you?

Emulation is the name of the game! Take a look at some of the worst workaholics in your organization and start doing what they do.

1.   Stay loose and unfocused. Never mind the corporate objectives, strategic plan, or key goals you wanted to accomplish. Constantly check your email all day long and reply to even the most mundane of messages.

2.   Chase down nebulous opportunities for your organization or career. Spend countless hours on social networking sites in the erroneous belief that, somehow, legions of others are going to beat a path to your door... oops, to your posting... and reward you with business opportunities.

3.   Scatter your efforts, day in and day out, so that significant accomplishments continue to elude you, and you have more work to do with each passing day.

4.   Develop the art of whining and groaning. Let everyone know how much work you're facing, how you never get a break, and how you have so little support. Rush around to the bathroom, the water cooler, and the cafeteria so that people think you're in a hurry and have a lot to do. Maybe they have no idea how you fritter away your day.

5.   Stay late every evening. Rather than leaving at a normal or appropriate time, see what else you can tackle. Waste your day online and then, in the late afternoon, hurriedly try to catch up with all the work you put off previously.

6.   Take work home with you every night. Stuff your briefcase with reports, papers, and other documents. Make sure when you get home that you spread these items all over the place so you can't escape them. Deny others in your household the opportunity to be with you.

7.   Overeat, under-exercise, watch too much television, and under-sleep. Arise feeling out of sorts, make your way to work, and proceed as if you're behind. Repeat this process over and over again until you look ragged, feel ragged, and are not a pleasure to be around.

8.   Allow your "work" to take over your weekends. Visit the office on Saturday, or simply barricade yourself at home, and renew the frittering that you practiced during the workweek. Shortchange leisure, vacations, time with your family, time with friends, and pursuit of your favorite past times and hobbies.

You’re In!

There! You are now a full-fledged workaholic. Welcome to a club with multimillions of members. Wear your "badge" proudly. You've earned this distinction all by yourself.

As you hone and refine your workaholism, you could be eligible for your own massive coronary. Short of that, other distinctions might come your way, such as being passed over for promotion, divorce, kids who are strung out, chemical dependency, internet addiction, and other maladies.