Pursuing Goals Effectively

In less than two weeks, we welcome a new year.

If you find yourself with an array of new goals that seemingly require perfection, remember whose goals they are – they're yours. You can loosen the screws a tad and give yourself some slack. Indeed, in some cases, you won't make it otherwise.  In How Good Do We Have to Be?, Rabbi Harold S. Kushner says, "Life is not a trap set for us by God so that He can condemn us for failing. Life is not a spelling bee where no matter how many words you've gotten right, you're disqualified if you make one mistake.”            

“Life is more like a baseball season where even the best team loses one-third of its games and even the worst team has its days of brilliance. Our goal is to win more games than we lose."  Most of your goals don't require perfection either. They might require constant progress, but something far less than perfection in the pursuit.

Your Goals, Your Benchmarks   

If you find yourself with an array of goals that seemingly require perfection, remember whose goals they are – they're yours. You can loosen the screws a tad and give yourself some slack. Indeed, in some cases, you won't make it otherwise.

If your goal is to lose X number of pounds in so many weeks, and only perfect discipline, perfect meals, perfect calorie intake, perfect exercise and so on will get you there, you will not get there.

You'd be better off to give yourself more time to allow for the fact that perfection
not only isn't necessary in this case, it's not desirable, and worse, can prove to be
counter-productive.

Here are some clues as to when you may be striving for perfection and it isn't necessary:
    * You're frequently gritting your teeth.
    * You're not able to maintain your normal demeanor.
    * You feel easily frustrated.
    * You're not sleeping as well as usual.

Don't Compare Yourself to Others

If the goal is truly your own, then you can proceed happily without being sidetracked by the accomplishments of others. All too often, people pursue things that they see other people have achieved.

For example, if you want a huge house simply because there are people in your town who live in huge homes, you might one day find yourself sitting in your mansion feeling very alone.

The goal of wanting a large home has to be your own and to be connected with positive reasoning. Perhaps you want room to build a large playroom for your children. Perhaps you've always wanted a guest bedroom. Perhaps you always wanted to have your own personal library and will need lots of room to store your thousands of volumes.