Genteel Euphemisms for Terms That Are All Too Familiar

Just for fun, here are some euphemisms for everyday terms, described in more eloquent language perhaps than they merit:

 * Carnal knowledge -- Having a close encounter free of garments and other impediments to direct tactile stimulation.

* Biting off more than you can chew -- Orally extracting an amount that exceeds what one is comfortably able to masticate.

* That's B.S. -- Your assertion reminds one of bovine excretion.

* Sh__faced -- Bearing an expression that one normally associates with the act of removing solid waste from the body.

* Can't tell your ass from your elbow -- Unable to differentiate between your dorsal side orifice and the joint connecting your forearm and upper arm.

* Stepping in a pile of crap -- A pedestrian ventures into an accretion of human waste.

* Go fu__ yourself  -- Engage in the act of physical consummation with yourself

* Up to your eyeballs in crap -- To find yourself surrounded at the visual level by unpleasantly aromatic organic waste.