Me: Hello, I'm Doctor Profeta. What seems to be the problem?
Patient: Now I'm not gonna lie, doctor. I smoked meth about two hours ago. But I'm here because I think my fiancé might be a prostitute and it got me worried cuz I found this app on her iPhone. Now I have a rash.
Me: An app? You mean like a hookup app? You think that rash on your legs is a sexually transmitted disease?
Patient: Umm yeah. You wanna see her pics on the app?
He holds up the phone, I quickly turn away.
Me: Ughh...No. It's not sexually transmitted. It's bed bugs.
Patient: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah I'm sure. I'm a doctor. It says so on my badge. But let's back up. What do you say we get you help for your smoking meth.
Patient: No, it was a one time thing. My fiancé pushed me to try it.
Me: Excuse me if I'm out of line, but it seems to me that marrying a meth-smoking prostitute posting nude pics on a hookup app may not be the brightest life choice.
Patient: I know . . . But I love her.
Dr. Louis M. Profeta is an emergency physician practicing in Indianapolis. He is a national award-winning writer and one of LinkedIn's Top Voices and the author of the critically acclaimed book, The Patient in Room Nine Says He's God. Feedback at firstname.lastname@example.org is welcomed. For other publications and for speaking dates or inquiries visit louisprofeta.com.
Dr Louis M. Profeta is an emergency physician practicing in Indianapolis. He is one of LinkedIn's Top Voices and the author of the critically acclaimed book, The Patient in Room Nine Says He's God. Dr Louis holds a medical degree from the Indiana University Bloomington.